Tender Mercies

The other day, I had an experience that I attributed to luck.  I told multiple people that I was lucky because of how things turned out.  Then, as I told one sweet girl in my classes, she responded by saying, "What a tender mercy."

Slap. In. The. Face.

I thought about it for a minute and here's what I've come up with.

There's no such thing as luck.  God is in the details of our lives and every blessing comes from Him.  He love us. He loves me. 

Children.

***I have a lot that needs to get done on my bloggy to-do list. Who knows if it ever will...in the meantime please enjoy some random, pointless posts. :)



Some days I'm terrible and say to my self.....
"Self, I'm never having children."
and then my self responds with...
"good idea"
and all is well and good.

Then I go to work at my wonderful job.  And I say to my self....
"Self, perhaps I should have children."
and then my self responds with...
"Ok....but perhaps you should have someone else raise them until they are in 1st grade then you can take over."
and I say..
"Self you are brilliant."

Then I go to Costco on a Saturday.
And I say to my self...
"Self I'm never having children!"
and my self responds with
"Maybe you could just never bring them to Costco."
And I say to my self.
"Nope not havin em'."

Then I go to church with my mom and help in the nursery.
And I say to myself
"Self, I neeeed to have children just like this."
and my self says,
"DUH! of course you are going to have children!"
and I say....
"Oi.  That will be interesting."

Now for the point of all this mumbo jumbo.

A) I talk to myself.
2) Today at church, I had the overwhelming feeling of the Spirit.  I KNEW that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. That He knows us. That He loves us.  Then as I went to nursery with my mom, I knew that those children were His children and that Heavenly Father loves them and entrusted them in their parents care.  Then, I knew that someday God is going to entrust me with children that He loves.  And then I knew that I was going to have to get over this battle I have with myself and embrace the fact that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father and He loves me enough that He will entrust me with that great responsibility someday.

{Source}

An answer to my prayers.

Source: tweakiz.com via Amy on Pinterest

Sunday Spirit

"You knew what I was when you picked me up"



Being the daughter of a seminary teacher, growing up we watched seminary videos for many-a family home evening.  One in particular has been on my mind for the last couple days.

It tells of an Indian legend that goes like this...

Many years ago, Indian youths would go away in solitude to prepare for manhood. One such youth hiked into a beautiful valley. There he fasted, and on the third day he decided to test himself against the mountain. He put on his buffalo-hide shirt, threw his blanket over his shoulders, and set off to climb the peak.

When he reached the top, he could see forever, and his heart swelled with joy. Then he heard a rustle at his feet. Looking down, he saw a snake. Before he could move, the snake spoke: “I am about to die. It is too cold for me up here, and I am freezing. There is no food, and I am starving. Put me under your shirt and take me down to the valley.”

“Oh, no,” said the youth. “I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite me, and I will die.”

“Not so,” said the snake. “I will treat you differently. If you do this for me, you will be special. I will not harm you.”

The youth withstood for a while, but this was a very persuasive snake with beautiful markings. At last the youth tucked it under his shirt and carried it down to the valley. There he laid it gently on the grass. Suddenly, the snake coiled, rattled, and struck, biting him on the leg.

“But you promised—” cried the youth.

“You knew what I was when you picked me up,” said the snake as it slithered away. 

As I've been thinking about this phrase this past week, I've thought a lot about the power Satan thinks he has.   Satan will do EVERYTHING he can to disguise sin to look like something we want to "pick up". He makes us feel like we are the exception and we are special so we won't be harmed.  However, we have the power to resist him.  We have the power to avoid Satan and the traps he sets for us.

We gained this power, because our Savior Jesus Christ came to earth and sacrificed his life to fulfill our Heavenly Father's great plan.

In the end, Satan is going to lose.

In the legend, after the snake harmed the youth, he slithered away.  Satan doesn't care when we struggle, in fact that is what he wants.  The only one who won't "slither away" is our Father in Heaven who loves each and every one of us.

Even those of us who pick up a few rattle snakes along the way.

To read the talk I got the story from go here.  I wanted to be able to find the actual video to post but couldn't. 

Angels

I'm missing her today.  I know that if she were still here, I probably wouldn't think anything of it.  But since she isn't I can't stop thinking about her.  I still don't know why the Lord decided to take her, but I'm not bitter about it anymore.  I know that is because she wouldn't want me to be bitter.  I hope she knows the impact she had on my life.  I hope she knows how much she means to me.  I hope she knows how much I love her.

I still remember the day over a year ago when I heard that she was gone.  It was a call I hoped I'd never receive, and it was completely unexpected.  I had never felt so alone and "robbed" in my life.  I immediately regretted not keeping in better contact with her after I moved away. I immediately thought of her sweet husband and the example this couple had been to me.  I just sat in my dorm room and bawled and bawled and bawled.

Her funeral was the hardest hour of my life. She was an amazing example to so many people.  She lived a life that reflected the Savior in so many ways.  Her testimony changed lives.  I know from experience.

Every time I drive past her house on the way to mine, the sweet memory of the hours I spent in her living room speak comfort to my heart. I think of the smell of cleanliness and the outdoors that filled that home that was always filled with the spirit.  I think of her laugh.  I think of the time at girl's camp where I watched her play butt charades and could not stop laughing.  I think of her hilarious peanut gallery comments during ward choir practice.

She was an angel to me in my life and now she is an angel serving in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Oi.

A lot of things in my life aren't  where they should be and it's been a really frustrating time for me.  I made a goal last month to become more "real".  Sometimes I feel like I try to live up to this perfect facade I've created in my head.  The "I'm too strong for that" mentality.  I have come to the realization that the opposite of that is the truth.  I'm weak.  Like uber weak...on my own.  Luckily, I've realized that I am weak without my Savior Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice.

This has been something that I've really struggled with in my life.  I went a long time without having any "serious" sins that I felt like I needed to repent of by talking to the bishop.  Because of this, I felt like I didn't "need" the atonement.  Thus, when something came about in my life that I couldn't get through, I didn't know where to turn. I got my self into some bad habits that were not only hurting me spiritually, but also damaging my physical body. I knew it wasn't right, and I tried time and time again to stop...on my own.  Nothing was working.  Until, I became humbled, and knelt down and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to not only forgive me, but to help me rely on the atonement to get out of this trap Satan had me in.  I still had to go my part, but for literally the first time in my life, I felt my Savior lift me up and HELP me.  I felt the fact that He had suffered for ME.  I felt the LOVE He has for ME.

As I've been going through this, I've realized a lot of other things in my life that I need to fix.  I need to have my outward actions match the person that I am inside. Therefore, I need to figure out who I am inside.  This is hard. But by relying on my Savior, I'm going to do it.

I've debated about posting this for a long time, because well it shows that I have problems.  But I think that clicking the publish button is something that I need to do.  Not so you can all read this internal struggle that I'm having, but so that I can  realize that I'm a work in progress.That I can do hard things, and that with my Savior, I can become the person he needs me to be.

I love the gospel.  And I love all of you.  Seriously I love that you read this and care about me.  You all know who you are and I just want to say thank  you.  :)

This life is GREAT! I'm so blessed and I couldn't ask for anything more!

I Am

Over the last year I've been trying to grow closer to the Savior and to truly believe that He Lives and the He loves and knows me.

All my life I've been taught that the Savior lives and that He knows each of his children personally.  I just kinda took that for what it was and didn't question it.  I remember being at a Young  Women activity when I was probably 17 years old.  The activity was centered around Easter.  We had been talking about Jesus Christ and how He rose from the tomb on the third day and how He Lives.  It was all the same stuff I'd heard many times before.  But this time, something was different.  During the closing prayer the words, "Dear Heavenly Father," and "in the name of Jesus Christ" took on new meaning to me.  They do LIVE.  When we pray we aren't just talking to the air but we are talking to our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ.  It's like everything I knew was finally making sense.

Ever since this experience, I've wondered where my relationship with the Savior stands.  I know He Lives and that He loves me and is always there for me, but what does that mean to me and in my life?

A few months ago a sweet lady who teaches Relief Society in my home ward who is a great example to me, shared this song and video during her lesson.

It touched me so much realizing everything the Savior does for me.  As we grow up, our relationship with Him  changes and He becomes more to us.

I hope this video strengthens other's testimonies as much as it strengthened mine.



Whether at this point in your life the Savior is your

"elbow Healer, Superhero, Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, Shepherd, Pasture Maker, Creature, Maker, Life Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, or Redeemer"

He is always "Lord and King, Beginning and the End", and he is always there.

His Hands

I've been thinking a lot lately about my Saviors hands. My favorite conference talk was by Pres Uchdorf in the Sunday morning session. "You are my Hands". He told this story and it has stuck with me since.

A story is told that during the bombing of a city in World War II, a large statue of Jesus Christ was severely damaged. When the townspeople found the statue among the rubble, they mourned because it had been a beloved symbol of their faith and of God’s presence in their lives.
Experts were able to repair most of the statue, but its hands had been damaged so severely that they could not be restored. Some suggested that they hire a sculptor to make new hands, but others wanted to leave it as it was—a permanent reminder of the tragedy of war. Ultimately, the statue remained without hands. However, the people of the city added on the base of the statue of Jesus Christ a sign with these words: “You are my hands.”

Like I said this has really stuck with me since Conference weekend. I am His hands. I started thinking about the symbolism behind the Saviors hands. The scriptures say that we are engraven on the Saviors palms; we are always with him. The nail prints not only represent the Crucifixion but they symbolize the fact that the Crucifixion was for us. Each of us individually so that we might over come death. The Savior's hands did nothing but good while he was on the earth. He went about serving, embracing, teaching, and healing. I love the movies that depict the Savior healing a blind man or a leper with only the touch of His hand. His hands served. I'm also reminded of the portrayal of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane. His hands quenched in pain as He suffered so that we don't have to. So that we can return and live with our Father in Heaven. Everything his hands do are for someone else. He used and still uses his hands to help others.

Pres. Uchdorf focused on the fact that our hands should also be used to benefit others. We are His hands. We are given the responsibility to do with our hands what the Savior would do with his if he were here.

So after I'd been thinking about this for the past week or so, I had a "fireball flying through the sky" experience yesterday in Sacrament Meeting when our testimony meeting was started off with the special musical number "His Hands". That summed up everything I had been thinking. My testimony of the Saviors "hands" grew full fold and I'm so grateful for that. I love my Savior and am striving each day to "make my hands like those of Galilee".

Oh so tender

http://www.youtube.com/MormonMessages

This video is precious. I love that gospel and how it really just comes down to simple things. A few Sundays ago we had Ward Conference and the bishop talked about the small and simple things we can do each day to make great things come to pass. Then when I was home last Sunday, my dad gave a talk about Naman. Naman had leperacy (how do you spell that?:)) He was told to dip in the river Jordan 7 times and he would be healed. My dad referenced this to the simple things we are told to do. WOW! I love when things correlate like that. I now that it's not coincidence either. There is something SMALL AND SIMPLE that I need to work on!!

Oh what a week!

This was one of those weeks where so much goes on that each day feels like it's its own little week so when you look back to Monday it feels like a whole month ago that it happened! Those weeks are just crazy!!! So here goes a quick recap of one of the best weeks I've had since gettin to college.....
Monday we went to the grocery store and Petsmart with Chad...he bought us this beautiful fish...

Then we went to clean the sink at Angies...the sink is basically a sink full of icecream and you get a whole bunch of people together and you eat it all then you get a sweet bumber sticker. We went for Jared's birthday...it was a lot of fun!!

Also on Monday I had my last piano lesson with Glenn :( it was really sad!! I loved teaching him..it was one of the best things that could have happened to me right now in my life. I want to teach more old folks how to play the piano. I think it's so amazing that he wanted to continue learning new talents..I know he will benefit so much from learning this. He is moving to Arizona for the winter so he said he'd continue lessons there and then give me a call when he gets home. I'm so grateful I had that experience!

Tuesday was my first real day on the job! it was pretty intense!! I actually really kinda like the job...ya know it's good pay, not hard, and I get to talk to so many different types of people. However 6 hours is a pretty long time to do that!

On Thursday I went to work again...but I got off early!! YIPPY.. Then we had to do an epic cleaning of our apartment! Cleaning checks were on Friday so we had a lot to get done in one night! Our stove was DEEEgusting! But good ol' Larissa just went right in there and tackled it! She's amazing!!

Friday was a pretty dang good day! We went to the grocery store...then we went to the football game! USU lost...(no surprise) and it was freezing but it was still really fun! Then we watched Penelope..good show!...then we got really bored and Brittnay and I both fit into my huge cookie pants!! ha ha ha ha ha

Saturday I went to work again...and got off early again!!! YIPPY! then we just watched movies and ate A LOT of food!! good times good times!!
Today was a great day...it was ward conference and the spirit was just so strong!! THE CHURCH IS TRUE!! I know that for a fact and I'm so glad that I know that! I love the gospel and can't wait to continue my life staying strong in it. Also today we made a dang good dinner..chicken cresents, rice, brocolli and pink lemonade!! Dang it was delish...then I had to make a cake for FHE tomorrow...I SUCK AT COOKING!!! basically first I forgot the water in the batter and just couldn't figure out what was wrong with it...then I suposedly dropped a hair in the batter...then I burnt it! SO tomorrow I have to wake up early and go buy another cake mix and try to make another cake! Oh man good times! I seriously can't wait for Thanksgiving this week!!!

Oh home and missionaries....

So this weekend I had a chance to go home! It was so fun!!! We went down to magleby's on Friday! ha ha Good times good times. Lane and Kevin still work there of course...it was kinda weird but good to see Carlos! I love that man!! Then I went shopping for hair dye with Carlie. It's interesting how relationships change when you move out. Carlie and I used to fight like crazy...but now we are good! She wanted to hang out with me all weekend! It was so cute!! Then on Saturday we went to Brittnay's little cousin's football game...it was so legit! Those families basically live for that sport! Brittnay's cousin got injured and they had to take him to the hospital! Crazy.... It was so good to see Britt's family...I love them!! Then I went shopping with my mom and hung out with Cam! I love them...my dad was pretty busy with church stuff but I do love him so much!! On Sunday we went to church...Andrew Shaw gave his farewell talk..I'm so grateful for worthy missionaries! They are amazing and just what this church needs!

Then I played and epic game of Monopoly with Car and Cam! ha ha ha Cameron is so funny! He said-and I quote- "I have a preposition that I need to get out in the open..." ha ha ha he was talking about a new idea that he had come up with but he just got his words wrong!! ha ha I died laughing! Then Chad made us dinner at Cory's house...it was delicious!! ya so all in all it was a great weekend!! I'm so excited for thanksgiving!

So meanwhile I was home I went into my room to go to bed. First of all my room isn't my room anymore...yup like three weeks after I moved out my parents transformed it into another guest room!! I don't like to talk about it..:) ha ha anyway so I got to thinking about how things change...first my room was just white...then I painted it orange...then it was so blue...now it's ugly green! Sooo anyway I started thinking aobut how my life has been changing with my room kinda...I know it's weird but really it is...Like someday I'll sleep in there in my husband..then we'll set up a little crib for our kids..it's just weird to think about ya know...Life is exciting!!!

Last night we all hung out in our room like always! It is so fun just all talking and stuff! oh gee

Oh the weekend....

This weekend was pretty relaxing actually! On Friday we watched Hancock...I really enjoy that show...if you haven't seen it you should definetly watch it...it has a few language problems but it is really unpredictable!! Then on Saturday I slept in...then I went to see the musical "Throughally Modern Millie" for my creative arts class...that's a pretty good musical..then AGGIE BASKETBALL...WITH A WIN OF COURSE!! If you haven't been to a game before...GO! they are the bomb....then we went to Arby's and watched Hitch..once again a good one!

Today has been a pretty good Sunday..my ward is pretty sweet. The talks today were about gratitude..I love November! It's just such a nice month..nature is beautiful--and it's just a good time to reflect on everything we have. Sarah and Brianna gave me the idea to make a thankful wall..everyday I've been writing down something that I am grateful for.. it's pretty neat to think about each day.

So I have a job interview tomorrow at this place...it's called Information Alliance..Tori used to work there. It's a survey place...not very glamorous but she said she made a lot of money which is basically what I need right now! So pray that goes well!! This week also is filled with a lot of homework...but on Friday...I'M GOING HOME!! Chad is coming down so me and Brittnay are heading to Payson for the weekend! I'm really excited..just to get away for a few days!

I don't have any new pictures to put up so just in honor of me being grateful....

Here's a picture of my baby! :( I know I'm weirdly obsessed with this car...but I miss it so much!!! anyway.....that's all! :)

Crazy crazy life....

This week has been pretty crazy as far as the weather goes....It snowed on Tuesday....and now it's all melted!!! ha ha strange!

The Tuesday snow

THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR........AGGIE BASKETBALL!!! Whoot woot!! The first game was on Friday and it was really exciting!!! We won of course by a lot!

Friends at the game!!

We won!

I really love it up here in Logan..it's such a beautiful town. I love walking too and home from campus and just enjoying the scenery...Last week the leaves basically all fell off the trees in one day and completly covered the sidewalks through the cemetary..it was one of the most beautiful things I've seen in nature...

I've been a little discouraged lately just because everything isn't really falling into place like I thought it would...I thought I'd get a great job that I loved, and basically have the coolest life...I got really discouraged and called my dad to complain. I love my dad and the advice he gives..he's a great man and I'm so grateful for him..he told me to just take it in stride and trust in the lord..that's something that I've always known I'm supposed to do but I guess I loose sight of that during my times of stress. Today was a great sabbath..we had fast sunday/family day/ward council/Pres. Uchdorf fireside tonight...pretty spiritually packed day. :) I'm so thankful for that..this week I'm going to strife to keep the lord and the church as the center of my life and see how things go..I have a strong testimony and I'm so grateful for that anchor in my life!! Happy Day!