Expectation vs Reality

Have you seen 500 days of Summer? You know the part when they show his expectations vs what is actually happening and in the expectations, things are great....but in reality, they aren't so great.

I have this problem.

I set my expectations.  And then the reality slaps me in the face.

They say things happen unexpectedly.  So I sit around expecting the unexpected.  You may think that's not possible, but I do it. All the time.

I dream up the perfect setting.  The way things should go.  Then they don't go anything like that and it leaves me feeling lost and betrayed.  Betrayed by someone or something that only existed in my expectations.

I don't know why my reality isn't enough, but it just isn't anymore.  The reality of what my life actually is doesn't live up to the expectations I have in my head.  The person that I am doesn't nearly live up to who I want to be.  The things that happen to me aren't what I feel they should be.

I hate that I feel like this.  I know that I am so blessed and I'm so grateful for the things I've been given.

i must confess

Logan windchill makes me want to punch a baby.
I spend more time in the Education Building and Library than I do at home
I want to run away and never look back.
I'm tempted daily to max out my credit card and buy a new wardrobe.
30 cent jumbo smarties from the quick stop rock my world.
If my fridge doesn't make me go insane, the overflowing trash in the bathroom will.
Obviously I knew the earth rotates counter clockwise--I shoulda got the 5 points.
Lesson Plans are from satan.
I don't get the big deal with Beats by Dre.  EVERYONE can hear your music.  It's nice of you to share but you could've bought a boom box for much cheaper.
It pains me that my kids won't know what a boombox is.
I should be doing lesson plans
If Nathan dies on One Tree Hill- I'ma be ticked

Source: Uploaded by user via Amy on Pinterest

I need Tim Riggins to snuggle with me.

Source: collider.com via Amy on Pinterest

I wrote a rough draft for this post like three weeks ago.
The pinterest people read my mind when they added the new feature
I miss My Home.
Only 5 days until the weekend!!!
HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!

it happened

You know those moments when things just start making sense.  The moments when the stars align and the clouds open up and you just know something and it just feels so. darn. good.

That happened to me.

Let me explain....
My education is a struggle for  me.  There are so many hoops I have to jump through and I. HATE. IT.  I feel like when I came to college, I knew what I wanted to do.  I wanted to teach.  I wanted to make a difference in the lives of children.  I wanted to be INFLUENTIAL.  
As I started into my classes, all was well.  I couldn't wait to get to the point I'm at now where the classes actually mean something and my time spent here would actually have a purpose.
But, as I started my classes this semester, that wasn't happening.  They weren't teaching me how to make a difference.  They are teaching me how to be a cookie-cutter teacher.  They teach me about tests, and lesson plans, and mumbo jumbo.

Source: heygirlteacher.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

After about three weeks of the three hour long classes where they teach me not to lecture by lecturing me, I was ready to throw in the towel.  I spent many hours in tears because everything I had wanted wasn't what I wanted after all.

But, I'm so close to being done and so I decided to stick it out and then figure out my new path after I graduated.

But then, it happened.  I was sitting there at 1 am doing my pointless homework, and all of the sudden I was like...
"I want to be a teacher. In fact I am dying to be a teacher. As in I'm going to be a {damn} good teacher."

And there you have it.

Life's Tough...Get a Helmet

Sometimes life gets difficult.
Sometimes I feel like there's no way out.
Sometimes I feel so out of control.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be in control again.
Sometimes I want to quit.
Sometimes on Valentines Day, I see the boys with flowers and wish they were coming my way.
Sometimes I forget what really matters.
Sometimes I hate my blog.

But then....

Sometimes I'm reminded that the things that matter most in my life are still intact

Sometimes I don't need a way out because I'm doing just fine

Sometimes I am in control of the important things

Sometimes on Valentines Day my three amazing valentines deliver much more than flowers.

Sometimes I reinvent my blog. 

Sometimes I run away from the unimportant things and spent time with those I love most. 

Sometimes I get sad and discouraged...

But then I stop.

And be happy instead...because let's be real. That's the way to go.  

That's where we are now.

:) 

The Crap in my Head

Soooo here's a look inside this little head of mine...

Country Chicken sandwiches from Arctic Circle remind me of middle school.

peanut butter oreos are the shiz.

College is fun. 

Sara  B. is my home dog.

I need to see my family.

Planning a wedding is not fun. 

Three hours is too long to be in church. 

Three and a half hours is way too long to be in class.

I'm not getting married.

Maybe planning my own wedding will be fun. 

I'm going to save the world someday.

I like nesquick

Life is moving right a long. 

Pretty soon it will be summer.

Then things will change again.

I'm not ready for that to happen. 

Just some thoughts...

Today is Tuesday.  Since Tuesday and Thoughts both start with "T" I thought I'd blog about my thoughts on this fine tuesday.

First off...Weather in Utah sucks.  Yesterday was a b-e-a-utiful day...then today SNOW storm. Not cool.
Next...I need a boyfriend.
Also,  I need a vacation.  Like something awesome. Like maybe Aruba, or maybe just Hawaii.  But regardless, it's necessary.
Another thing... I have a crush on this boy.  I just think he's adorable. Fa reals.

(http://www.posh24.com/photo/505479/mia_talerico_and_jason_dolley)

And there you have it a look into the pointless things that go on in my head =) Happy Tuesday!!