Jealousy

i hate that word.
absolutely. hate.
i especially hate that word when i allow that word to be a word that describes me.
and right now it does.

to me jealousy and insecurity are siamese twins.
attached at the heart.

i have tried hard my whole life to achieve a level of confidence to shun out any feelings of insecurity.  i have pushed aside any words people say, actions they take, or circumstances that come about that may cause this devil feeling to creep into me.

i don't compare myself to others.
i set my sights on what i want.
and normally, i get myself there.

but,
then somehow i forget that level of confidence and let myself shrink under the feelings of being inadequate and lameness.

in our world today it seems that these two little pesters have crept into every aspect of our lives.
social media.
social media.
and social media.

it is soo easy for me to see what other people have that i don't
it is soo easy for me to picture what my life "should be" in order to match what their life is.

that should be hard.

it should be easy for me to see that i have everything i need.
it should be easy for me to see that i am beautiful
it should be easy for me to see that i am doing great things.