Monday, April 11, 2011


I'm missing her today.  I know that if she were still here, I probably wouldn't think anything of it.  But since she isn't I can't stop thinking about her.  I still don't know why the Lord decided to take her, but I'm not bitter about it anymore.  I know that is because she wouldn't want me to be bitter.  I hope she knows the impact she had on my life.  I hope she knows how much she means to me.  I hope she knows how much I love her.

I still remember the day over a year ago when I heard that she was gone.  It was a call I hoped I'd never receive, and it was completely unexpected.  I had never felt so alone and "robbed" in my life.  I immediately regretted not keeping in better contact with her after I moved away. I immediately thought of her sweet husband and the example this couple had been to me.  I just sat in my dorm room and bawled and bawled and bawled.

Her funeral was the hardest hour of my life. She was an amazing example to so many people.  She lived a life that reflected the Savior in so many ways.  Her testimony changed lives.  I know from experience.

Every time I drive past her house on the way to mine, the sweet memory of the hours I spent in her living room speak comfort to my heart. I think of the smell of cleanliness and the outdoors that filled that home that was always filled with the spirit.  I think of her laugh.  I think of the time at girl's camp where I watched her play butt charades and could not stop laughing.  I think of her hilarious peanut gallery comments during ward choir practice.

She was an angel to me in my life and now she is an angel serving in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

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