Oi.

A lot of things in my life aren't  where they should be and it's been a really frustrating time for me.  I made a goal last month to become more "real".  Sometimes I feel like I try to live up to this perfect facade I've created in my head.  The "I'm too strong for that" mentality.  I have come to the realization that the opposite of that is the truth.  I'm weak.  Like uber weak...on my own.  Luckily, I've realized that I am weak without my Savior Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice.

This has been something that I've really struggled with in my life.  I went a long time without having any "serious" sins that I felt like I needed to repent of by talking to the bishop.  Because of this, I felt like I didn't "need" the atonement.  Thus, when something came about in my life that I couldn't get through, I didn't know where to turn. I got my self into some bad habits that were not only hurting me spiritually, but also damaging my physical body. I knew it wasn't right, and I tried time and time again to stop...on my own.  Nothing was working.  Until, I became humbled, and knelt down and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to not only forgive me, but to help me rely on the atonement to get out of this trap Satan had me in.  I still had to go my part, but for literally the first time in my life, I felt my Savior lift me up and HELP me.  I felt the fact that He had suffered for ME.  I felt the LOVE He has for ME.

As I've been going through this, I've realized a lot of other things in my life that I need to fix.  I need to have my outward actions match the person that I am inside. Therefore, I need to figure out who I am inside.  This is hard. But by relying on my Savior, I'm going to do it.

I've debated about posting this for a long time, because well it shows that I have problems.  But I think that clicking the publish button is something that I need to do.  Not so you can all read this internal struggle that I'm having, but so that I can  realize that I'm a work in progress.That I can do hard things, and that with my Savior, I can become the person he needs me to be.

I love the gospel.  And I love all of you.  Seriously I love that you read this and care about me.  You all know who you are and I just want to say thank  you.  :)

This life is GREAT! I'm so blessed and I couldn't ask for anything more!

Hare Hare.....

The weekend went a little something like this....
(there are a lot of pictures...my apologies...it was a GREAT weekend!)

~Eagle Project

~COLOR FEST!!!
~Red Robin

~Mall trip

~ Movies

~Sleep overs

~A TON of much needed fun!!

Happy Last Week of March!!

Who has two thumbs....

And got accepted into the Education program????

This girl BABY!

 Please excuse the fact that I look like death...it's been a long day =)

YAY!

Scenes from the Weekend

~Temple Day with the amazing Stephanie

~Wore flip flops!! Summer is coming!

~Watched a middle school variety show

~Supported the amazing Shea-Shea in her race

~Twizzled it up with the roomies

~Saw the one and only Justin Bieber Movie! =)

What a great weekend! 

Happy Week to everyone!

Just another day...

My life is weird.  Weird things happen to me.  Today was no different.  I know no one cares but here is my day of emotional rollercoaster-ness

8:55- This would have been a great time to wake up if today hadn't been Tuesday.  Slept right through spinning. Sometimes when I wake up, I'm really disoriented and confused.  Today was no different, except I was also MAD. Like literally peeved that I had missed spinning.  So I just woke up and read Catching Fire.

9:40-Showered. That was fun.

10:00- Sat down to write my paper that was due at noon.  But of course I had to log into facebook first...and good thing too because I WON 2 FREE CUPCAKES!!!  All of you should log on to facebook right now and LIKE Temptation Cupcakes.  Not only because you could win free cupcakes, but also because they are soooo good.  Seriously.  And the owners are sooo sweet.

11:20- My paper was finally finished. And I had 20 min to do my hair and make-up.  To some this may seem like a lot of time....however with a mane like mine, it just isn't enough.

12:00-Went to English.  For the first time this semester I didn't want to poke my eyeballs out and throw them at the teacher.  That was a very good thing.

1:30-Got home and had to leave to run errands.  I really actually like running errands.

2:00- Went to work.  I love my job.  Today a kid told me that he needed some alcohol to make his cut feel better.  I thought he meant ya know some nice snops to ease the pain.  Nope he wanted rubbing alcohol so I pulled out the rubber gloves and played doctor to his cut.  It was cute.  Also, there was some paper airplane taking in the bathroom.  That was fun right Steph :) :)hahahaha Man so many good times!

6:00- Went to my work meeting.  I usually hate these but, this one was nice.  I learned about ways I can get extra money.  Very awesome!!

6:45-Talked to Brit for like a half hour outside the Logan city library because I didn't think they would appreciate hearing our conversation...except they probably would have because we are FUNNY.

7:30- Came home and spilled Regi's jamba (sour patch kid none-the-less) It was not fun.  But don't worry I made up for it by making rice and sauce.  :)

8:30- Went to the gym with Shea-Shea.  That was fun.  I'm so glad the weather is getting nicer.  Tomorrow we be running outside!

9:30- Came home and should have started on my project that's due tomorrow, but I still haven't started.  Joy.

Man, what a day.  I know it doesn't seem very epic but it was just a weird day for me.

what the phlog??

Phlog=Photo+Blog

{Twizzle-Berry=BOMB}

{Logan is beautiful sometimes :)}

{Aggie Basketball=BOMB}

{Sometimes it snows a lot in a short amount of time}

{So we build snowmen with gold coins for eyes}

{This picture looks nasty but it's not..Tomato Pesto from Magleby's=BOMB}

{Once I was a Doctor and I only made $40,000. It sucked}

{Love these two}

{Fun times}

{Love these times}

{My sister is good at the piano.  Like better than I ever was..it's hard to admit}

The End...

Well friends, we made it through the Thirty Day blogging challenge.

YAY

that was fun!!

I'm an idiot...I realized I forgot about the day for pictures from where I live....and also the day for the recipe.

I had some big plans for these posts and they just never happened. My bad.

However, I feel like the challenge was a success and I'm glad I did it. :)

In other news, this is my

100th POST!!!

(get it??? finger 1-glasses 00 = 100)

(Also, I love these glasses.)

what an honor :) Blogging is fun!

Here's to the next 100 posts :)

What's a motto?

"Nothin, what's the motto with you?"

http://photos22.flickr.com/32886904_fe18928ee8.jpg


Hardy. Har. Har.

No but really, I don't really have a motto for life.
The one thing that came to mind was something my dad always says...
Sometimes we just have to jump through the hoops
I feel like that a lot especially at this time in my life...I feel like a lot of what I do doesn't have any meaning and is just pointless.  But, we just have to do it.

I worked at a crappy job that I hated....that was just a hoop I had to jump through in order to get to the awesome job I have now.

 Who cares that the last four semesters of college have just been filled with pointless classes like humanities and intelligent life in the universe?? Those were just the hoops I had to jump through in order to get to the point where I could get in the program (still waiting to hear about that one btw..)

So whenever you feel like life is pointless, just remember that sometimes you just have to jump through the hoops to get to the pure awesome parts...and they do come trust me! :)

In my next 365 days..

I'm not very good at planning for the future.  I sorta just fly by the seat of my pants if you will.  So when I'm asked what I want to do with the next year of my life....I'm sorta at a loss.  But I've thought of a few things that I want to do before the next Spring Break and I'm actually excited!

My "Bucket List" for the next year:
**Hopefully this doesn't actually turn into a real bucket list because I hope to live beyond the year.**

• go horseback riding
• get into the education program
• learn the guitar
• fall in love (I'm aware this is a stupid thing to hope for but I do...so there)
• make a head wrap crochet thing
• Make a quilt
• Find out more about myself
• Become more "real"
• buy a new shoe wardrobe
• wear straight legged jeans
• see the Justin Bieber movie
• run a 5K and 10K
• read the New Testament (tonight I will be starting Mormon in the Book of Mormon and then I'm on to the New Testament :) ) 
• go to a REAL Salt Lake game
• read 5 church books including the Gift of Forgiveness
• paint a picture (maybe paint by number style--maybe not)

I'm really planning on doing all these things and blogging about them...so just wait.  =)

**Please be  understanding if the "falling in love" doesn't happen...I'll try my best

Deep.

As we come to the end of this 30 day challenge, the prompts start to get pretty deep.  SO buckle up and delve into the deepness of my life :)

Day 28=What I hope to do in life.

Ya know life is a weird thing.  I feel like it's hard to plan for.  You know it has a mind of it's own and it just does whatever it wants.  I often times feel like I don't have any control of my actual life.  However one thing that I do have control over is being HAPPY.  SO alas, in life I want to be happy.  If I had my way that happiness would come from having a great job as a teacher, a loving family of my own, and a strong relationship with my Heavenly Father.  So we will just have to see what life throws at me, and how I choose to let it make me happy :)

Fashion?

Day 27=Fashion Favorites.
Fashion? What's that? I'm not exactly a "fashion-ista" per say.  I wear what I want because It's comfortable usually.  However, there are a few fashion "staples" that are usually involved in my outfits.

~Cardigans.  I love em.  I want this one.

http://www.downeastbasics.com/images/products/display/MAR11_morningglory_white0698.jpg


~American Eagle Jeans. Love em
~SHOES I love shoes. that's all there is to it.  I really want a pair of these...

http://images.toms.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/450x320/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/e/redcanvasclassic-side_1.jpg
and these...

http://shopimages-pe.delias.com/300534_yel_w.jpg




~I also love my Aggie sweats :)

Just give me a sec..

to act like a 7th grade girl.

I may or may not be

in love...

with Nick Jonas.


I mean...he's cute... and when he sings this song, he is cute and you just want to pinch his cute little cheeks.

But then.. there's this song..where he is dare I say it...Sexy.

 There it's out there.  I think Nick Jonas is Sexy and I'm twenty years old.  What of it??

Also, Brittnay is my best friend in the whole world and I love her more than life. :)

Rebel Child...

so technically today is day 25 however, I'm doing day 25 tomorrow so today I'm going to do day 26 mmmmkay.  If you're OCD and that bothers you, go seek help.  

Day 26=Childhood Memory.  

Friday night, we watched Whip It.  Good movie.  This memory is inspired by that movie. 

I can't rollerblade.  I've never been able to.  In fact, I couldn't ride a two wheeler bike until I was in 2nd grade.  I just struggle with balancing on wheels I guess.  Anyway I remember practicing rollerblading in my garage for hours with my neighbor because I was too embarrassed to learn outside of the garage.  I would scoot around the cars parked in our tiny garage and think that was was somehow going to help. I can even remember being in 6th grade and strapping on my little sister's Barbie skates over my tennis shoes.

 I hated going on field trips to Classic Skating because then I had to admit to everyone that I couldn't rollerblade. I wasn't even very good at rollerskating.   However I loved doing the wipe out song because I was pro at falling down.   Oi.  However, one time in 7th grade, I was at Classic Skating scooting around on my ghetto 4 wheel skates, and I was asked to snowball with someone.  What's snowball??? It's pretty romantic, you skate around with someone of the opposite gender while holding hands.  Cute right?? haha Anyway that was my first time holding hands with someone that I can remember it actually being connected to wanting to "go out" with the boy.  Good times good times :) 

It's SPRING BREAK!!!

my bags are packed....

I'm ready to go...

NOWHERE.  That's right I'ma be staying here for spring break.  I have to work.  I have some odd feelings about this.  First off, I'm trying to go all week (starting on Monday) without spending any money.  It's not going to happen, but maybe I'll spend less than I usually do.  

Alsso, I want more than anything right now to go and ride horses.  I don't know why, but I seriously just can't stop thinking about it.  I want to ride a horse while I wear my flannel with a cute cowboy. Hmmmm one can only dream.  This summer I'm going to ride a horse.  It's a goal.  Regina and I are going to see COUNTRY STRONG in T minus 20 minutes and I'm assuming there will be some horse riding happening in that flick, so that will probably only make me want to more.  

Nonetheless, I have big plans for this week....

~SPRING CLEANING!!! like for reals.  My roommates will be happy to hear that I am planning on deep cleaning the entire apartment.  

~clean my car

~get caught up (and hopefully ahead) on homework

~hang out with my awesome co-workers

~and this weekend I'ma be heading home to hang with my bestie and family!

If that doesn't sound like a blast and a half, I don't know what does.

Surprise...

Day 24=A movie you don't expect me to love......


(http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTY0NTA3MzI5M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjg3MjEyMQ@@._V1._SY317_CR4,0,214,317_.jpg)\




Being the daughter of a John Wayne fan, I've seen 'em all.  However, I actually really like this one.  It's funny and suspenseful.  It's just a nice movie.

I'm H-A-P-P-Y

Sometimes I blog when I'm loopy...like yesterday..that's why the post doesn't make any sense.  Sorry bout it.  

First of all this post is supposed to be about things that make me happy but first I need to blog about something kinda sad....Payson lost :( I told my mom it was because people didn't pray hard enough but she said she doesn't think Heavenly Father cares...probably true.  It was a good game and I'm sooo glad I got to go but in the end Highland pulled it through.  According to Deseret News, "The Rams Tamed the Lions".  hmph.

NOOOOOW Happiness.  I love being happy and I think I'm pretty good at it :) And this is what makes me smile...

~Getting Mail

~Hearing my favorite song on the radio and being able to listen to the whole thing

~When the kids at school say things like "holy guacamole" 

~getting a good parking spot

~being with family

~having fun with my roomies and taking midnight trips to subway...

~Driving

~hugging my g-pa

~buying new clothes

~the berry struesel bagel from Einsteins

~hearing the rain outside

~playing the piano

~wearing earings

~new shoes

~Easter

~when cute random strangers smile at me and say "hey"

~talking to my sister

~memories

~watching baseball games in the heat of the summer

~The book "There's a Boy in the Girls Bathroom"

I think that's enough.  HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY

Random Ramblings....

Today I changed the look of my blog...and I don't like it. So it will be changing again later.
Also, I wish ABC family would change "Still Standing" to 8am and move "Boy Meets World" to 1pm.  That would be nice for my schedule.
Another thing....you know those people who are constantly competing with you and they think they're so sneaky...for example once upon a time I attended Payson Middle School.  There was a girl in my class that ALWAYS did all of her assignments so cute in teen living.  I was friendly to her meanwhile deep inside I hated the fact that her work was cuter than mine.  I secretly always competed with her and trying to make mine better than hers.....now back to real life...someone is trying to give me back what I gave her. NBD
Also, tonight I'm heading down for Game 2 of the state tournament.  I hope you all prayed for a win for Payson.  If you didn't and they loose, it will be on your head. Just Sayin.
Stay tuned for pictures of my bedroom for Day 21.... YAY  =)

I wanna be a billionaire.....

Day 21=If I were given $1000

I've actually been thinking a lot about this lately because holla--it's tax season and I'm hoping that the government realizes my bank account is depleting and takes pity on me so.....here's what I would do with $1000
~Pay off my credit card.
~Buy spinning shoes.
~Buy whitening strips for my teeth
~Buy new jeans
Honestly that's all I can really think of wanting to buy at the moment.  SO there you have it.  That would probably only add up to like $300 so I would to save the rest haha

In other news, Payson Basketball WON in the first round of the state tournament.  It was beautiful.  They play again tomorrow and I hope to be reporting great news once again after that game.  Pray for them. Srsly.  Also, my body is mad at me and wishes I would sleep and rest more but the truth of the matter is....I just can't.  So body, cry me a river and get over it mmmkay.  Hey it's sorta almost Friday!!!

Day 20

Only 10 days to go. Try to hold back your tears.  ;)

Today=A Hobby.

I feel like I blog about my hobbies all the time.  I mean I would hate to be redundant.  You all already know I like movies, tv, music, crafts, cooking, designing, giving advice etc etc  SO I've been trying to come up with a "closet" hobby of mine and I just can't think of anything.  First of all I'm not really sure exactly what a hobby is...so I looked it up.

hob·by

¹    [hob-ee]  Show IPA

–noun, plural -bies.

1.

an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation andnot as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hobby

Well I don't collect stamps and I certainly don't wood carve....

Once upon a time I collected smashed pennies. Ya know like from tourist attractions.  I have a plethora.

So there you go.  I'm a penny collector :)